This week in the crypt we’re warming up the winter months with the 1992 film Hellmaster!
By Adam Holtzapfel
Starring John Saxon, David “Flyboy” Emge, and Ron Asheton from the proto punk band The Stooges, Hellmaster suffers from not carving out it’s identity.
The film clocks in at 92 minutes with an opening following Robert (Emge) uncovering some weird shit going on at the local technology school as a “cult” type group shows up with his wife.
We fast forward 6 months into the future to a sociology class where the students are “tasked” with solving the homeless problem. This leads to an is God real type of discussion.
Said discussion provides a peak into the cliques on campus. While the film had a Popcorn feel to it, not everyone in the class are friends.
There’s talk of students in the 60s being given experimental drugs. As we see Professor Jones (Saxon) and his crew running wild.
The fun of this flick are the gags like a maxipad bandage or Jesse (Jeff Rector) brandishing a whip because why the fuck not.
When we see Bobby Jones (Eric Kingston), his face looks like someone tried to cut a checkerboard on it. He’s the main baddie that has some decent kills.
Are the kids of Kant Technology Institute able to survive Hellmaster? You gotta see for yourself.
The flick is well paced and having been filmed at a running asylum adds to it. Boasting a typical soundtrack for the era viewers are treated to a rap song and a wannabe industrial track. The rumored budget was between 1.8 to 2 million dollars and I wonder where a lot of that went.
Overall I give this a strong C. It’s great if you love corny oddball films, but if not you may want to skip this one.
What works is it’s a mix of Hellraiser with a touch or Strange Behavior, a dash of The Hills Have Eyes, and a touch of creepy kid. Also, John Saxon as an evil professor with an almost cult leader feel works better than I expected it to for the full 5 minutes he’s in the film.
You can currently catch Hellmaster on both the Shudder and Tubi apps.
And remember kids, if you feel a chill…that’s not the cold. You’re in the crypt!
