Today in the crypt we take a look at the often loathed Rob Zombie flick, The Lords Of Salem
by Adam Holtzapfel
In 2012 Rob Zombie unleashed what most people consider to be his most hated film, Lords Of Salem. Having not seen this film since it came out, it was due for a revisit.
This film follows local DJ Heidi Hawthorne (Sheri Moon Zombie) as she navigates through work, late nights, and narcotics anonymous meetings.
The film starts with a “wiccan” ritual and flash forwards to current times. We see Heidi and her coworkers Whitey (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and Munster (Ken Foree) running their program and interviewing black metal musician Count Gorgann (Torsten Voges).
As the crew leaves the studio Heidi recieves an album from a group just calling themselves “The Lords”. After her and Whitey’s first listen shit starts getting weird and the nightmares begin. You have to see what happens next.
In typical Rob Zombie fashion this film has a 70s look while being set in the 2010-2012 era, but beating you over the head that it’s “retro”. It also feels a little uneven and longer than the hour and forty-one minute run time.
What works for me is Sheri Moon Zombie, she’s not trying to be Baby Firefly like she does in every movie Rob casts her in, including those outside of the Firefly Family Trilogy. The cast is great in addition to those mention Meg Foster, Bruce Davison, and Patricia Quinn are bright spots. Also the score by John 5 sets a tone of dread and really shines in this.
What doesn’t work for me is it’s a typical Rob Zombie film, I don’t hate his work, but a lot of it just isn’t my thing. Also the typical fever dream sequence where Heidi is riding a goat and dry humping Count Gorgann.
Using a letter grading system, Lords Of Salem snags a C. Even though it’s my favorite Rob Zombie film, it doesn’t fully deliver for me. It’s a slow burn, but takes too long to get anywhere. If you’re feeling like a night of occult style films this pairs well with The Wicker Man (1973), Blood On Satan’s Claw, or The Witch.
And remember kids, if you feel a chill…that’s not the cold. You’re in the crypt!
